To whom it may concern (yeeeeeeah, you know who you are)
November 29th, 2007 RachelEmail?
There’s a certain protocol here folks for what should or should not be passed on to a friend or loved one electronically. A few examples:
Subject: thought i’d say hiya!
“hey! haven’t heard from you in a while…all’s well here in pittsburgh, well you know except for last week when our little jimmy was arrested for indecent exposure. kids these days! dana’s hemorrhoids are doing swell though - only has to use the doughnut about half the time now! “
Subject: Every calorie counts…
“Honey, I’ve been thinking…you’re looking awfully chubbly these days. Maybe we should have salads for dinner? Eskimo kisses, Todd”
Subject: 1…2…3…get ready
“because we’re having a b-A-b-Y, pookie bear! SURPRISE! Could you pick up paper towels on the way home? Man…I puked EVERYWHERE this morning.”
Yeah. Telephones still exist for a reason.
But…how about breaking up?
A few things to consider…
1. How long you’ve known each other: shouldn’t be any more than two weeks. Number of dates and amount of daily communication could increase/decrease this guideline, though…use carefully.
2. What your primary contact method is: if you’re evennot sure he/she has a computer, you have no excuse for typing up a ’so sorry, Charlie’ note…
3. Whether you were friends first/want to be friends later: seriously. There’s no turning back once you hit the send key.
So, okay…there might be a few things you could point out to justify spending twenty minutes drafting a witty, vague subject line (and ultimately going with none at all) right after googling “break up email + example”. But seriously…let’s all take a minute and think really hard about this. <pause>
EMAIL!?!!?
I take all that analysis and thoughtfulness back. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you even think for a split second “is this really something I should send over email?” then DON’T DO IT.
In the words of Carrie Bradshaw:
“You can have the guts and the courtesy to tell a woman, to her face, that you no longer want to see her. Call me crazy but, I think that, you can make a point of ending your relationship in a manner that does not include an e-mail, a doorman, or a missing persons report. I think you could all get over your fear of looking like the bad guy and actually have the uncomfortable break-up conversation Because, here’s what; Avoiding that is what makes you the bad guy.”
Or girl (let’s not leave any cowards out).
And that, is all I have to say on that matter. Hrmph.
[Note: this is not “writing”…this is venting. heaps o’ difference.]
