My parents had the oh so fun habit of singing this refrain each and every time my teenage argumentative side reared up and got ready for a fight. Rather than thinking clearly, my brain would be going through all the huffing, puffing, and “omigod! so unfair!” irrationality of a normal kid. With laser focus on being right and winning, I usually ended up compromising my actual argument in the first place.

Oh those lyrics…the equivalent of poking the moody teenage tiger. Predictably, my reaction would be to grow more irate and get more upset.

Now, I at least (usually) know better.

Both personally and professionally, it’s easy to slide into retaliation mode without thinking…but where’s the sense in that? Let’s say your new product get a negative review. Or someone posts a snarky, needless comment about your company on a blog. They’re both bad, right? You should be drafting up reports the second that google alert arrives in your inbox…right?

Well…let’s see.

In the case of the negative product review, yes – you should be responding. Especially if what they’ve discovered/documented amounts to a pertinent bug or mistake on your part. Maybe they over dramatize the extent of the slipup…or completely disregard all the slick and shiny new features. Doesn’t matter and you shouldn’t go into that…acknowledge the issue, let them know you understand and are working on it, and give them (and the rest of the world) your contact information so they can give you more feedback. That’s how you’ll get better and the single most effective way to show you care about your users. A press release won’t do that. Nor will ignoring them…or even worse, trying to argue with them about what they found.

Now, let’s say someone simply rants about how terrible your company is in general. Okaaaaay…some things to consider.

Who is the writer? Competitors, anonymous blog trolls, looselipped internet junkies, and your third cousin Brian who hasn’t left his mom’s basement since before the iPod…roll your eyes and move on. Not worth your time – they have more of it to spend hammering you again…and again, and again…if you indulge their egos. But if you have someone who’s actually put together a thoughtful case for why you deserve a FAIL stamp across your forehead, then you might want to consider an equally thoughtful response. Keep it conversational – hopefully you can reach some sort of understanding, even if agreement is unattainable.

Where sits “the truth”? Put your own ego in check and think about this one carefully. Is the negative critique based on facts, opinions, gossip or lies? It does no one any good if you can’t be honest with yourself about this.

Who’s the reader? Even elected officials realize they can’t please everyone. The higher your star rises, the greater the likelihood that someone, and eventually groups of people, simply aren’t going to like you. Sucks, I know…but if you focus so hard on making the entire world your friend, you’ll just end up pleasing no one.

Put simply, pick your battles. Not every blog post, editorial piece or product review is worth bringing in a twenty person crisis team. Nor is it worth the stress of getting your own panties in a bunch – especially when 99% of the time, it’ll be old news by the time you’ve finished this entry anyway.