One of the many “perks” we’ve encountered while living in this still being finished building is that elevator wait times can be long and there’s no shortage of conversation/graffiti in the unfinished elevators. Tuesday was less amusing when it took twenty minutes to get an elevator. Thursday was even less fun for Adam when he had to take the pup down an ungodly number of stairs to do his business…and back up again. Ew.

Well, this morning was my favorite so far. Let’s call it…”The Tale of The Contractor Who Thinks I Have The Hots For Him”.

While dressed in my Friday morning finest (i.e. boots, fuzzy hat and woolly mittens), I was traveling back up to the apartment when a couple of contractors joined me and another gentleman in the elevator. Contractor A (CA) leans down and starts making a fuss all over Harley…which involved my favorite part of dog ownership.

CA: What’s your name, little guy? You’re a cute little man…

<I hold off to see if he really wants to know his name…>

CA: What’s your name?

<Le sigh…okay fine, give him what he wants>

Me: Harley…

The conversation-with-the-dog-while-owner-plays-spokesperson. Classic.

So, he starts telling me all about how his girlfriend wants a dog…but then he’s going to have to walk it…and what a pain that would be…then goes in for another round of puppy fussing.

CA: Are you going to come home with me? Yes you are…you going to come home with me? Relax on the couch? Have a couple of beers?

Me: Heh - that’s funny, he actually does like beers.

CA: <smirking at me knowingly> You mean…his owner likes a beer <insert creepy leering>.

<Ew. Lord. You have a girlfriend. Ew.>

Me: Um. No…actually I DID mean that HE likes the taste of beer.

Contractor B (CB): That’s true. Some dogs do like the taste of beer.

Thankfully, their stop was up next and off they went.

I can’t wait to see what adventures my next elevator ride will bring.

(Disclaimer: I don’t give Harley beer. This was a discovery made at a party once by a joker who thought it’d be funny to get a photo of Harley sniffing the end of his empty beer bottle. Harley thought he said “lick the empty ravenously” was the request. That’s the end of that story.)