To whom it may concern (yeeeeeeah, you know who you are)
Email?
There’s a certain protocol here folks for what should or should not be passed on to a friend or loved one electronically. A few examples:
Subject: thought i’d say hiya!
“hey! haven’t heard from you in a while…all’s well here in pittsburgh, well you know except for last week when our little jimmy was arrested for indecent exposure. kids these days! dana’s hemorrhoids are doing swell though - only has to use the doughnut about half the time now! “
Subject: Every calorie counts…
“Honey, I’ve been thinking…you’re looking awfully chubbly these days. Maybe we should have salads for dinner? Eskimo kisses, Todd”
Subject: 1…2…3…get ready
“because we’re having a b-A-b-Y, pookie bear! SURPRISE! Could you pick up paper towels on the way home? Man…I puked EVERYWHERE this morning.”
Yeah. Telephones still exist for a reason.
But…how about breaking up?
A few things to consider…
1. How long you’ve known each other: shouldn’t be any more than two weeks. Number of dates and amount of daily communication could increase/decrease this guideline, though…use carefully.
2. What your primary contact method is: if you’re evennot sure he/she has a computer, you have no excuse for typing up a ’so sorry, Charlie’ note…
3. Whether you were friends first/want to be friends later: seriously. There’s no turning back once you hit the send key.
So, okay…there might be a few things you could point out to justify spending twenty minutes drafting a witty, vague subject line (and ultimately going with none at all) right after googling “break up email + example”. But seriously…let’s all take a minute and think really hard about this. <pause>
EMAIL!?!!?
I take all that analysis and thoughtfulness back. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you even think for a split second “is this really something I should send over email?” then DON’T DO IT.
In the words of Carrie Bradshaw:
“You can have the guts and the courtesy to tell a woman, to her face, that you no longer want to see her. Call me crazy but, I think that, you can make a point of ending your relationship in a manner that does not include an e-mail, a doorman, or a missing persons report. I think you could all get over your fear of looking like the bad guy and actually have the uncomfortable break-up conversation Because, here’s what; Avoiding that is what makes you the bad guy.”
Or girl (let’s not leave any cowards out).
And that, is all I have to say on that matter. Hrmph.
[Note: this is not "writing"...this is venting. heaps o' difference.]
Mahahahaha this is so fantastic. A Carrie Bradshaw quote and “Eskimo kisses” are the best way to wake up in the morning.
Now you should extrapolate and let me know the ettiquette for Facebook… after about 10 days, I had to be honest and sent an “I’m not in the right place,” msg away.
In my defense though, the content was just an (intended) precursor to a face-to-face conversation.
Intended? Did the face-to-face conversation happen? Because if it didn’t, I think you answered your own question…electronic break-ups leave little room for future friendship and tend to sting about a million times more.
Distance was a factor too, tho - yes?
No, that relationship ended a few months ago. This one was barely over a week old, but things didn’t feel right.
And yes, the face-to-face happened, the msg was simply to open the conversation. The last I’d heard from her was, “I’m going to jump in a shower, I’ll call you tonight,” so I sent the msg knowing I wouldn’t get her on the phone. She didn’t call, though, I went to see her the next morning. And actually things went incredibly, amicably well.
Just saying, the Facebook giudelines could help a lot of people.
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