Let me preempt everything I’m going to say here with this - I’m a newbie. I’m no industry veteran, I don’t have years in the business backing up my reactions or analysis of things, and I’m certain I’m not saying much that’s particularly profound.

But, some things must be shared. Even if the focus is on a relatively easy target.

This is the mail I got today at work -

His name is Steven, and according to Microsoft, he’s going to help me become a Microsoft adCenter Genius. I know this, because there is a ridiculous amount of words jumbled on three pages (front and back) that tell me so. Steven’s a person. A person who, from his thoughtful posturing, cares about me and my business. He’s even willing to let me try this out for FREE. Free, people! FREEEEE!!

Awwwww…

Wait a second. Hold the mouse. What’s all that greyish print in that enormous paragraph down on the last page say…?

You’re going to charge me five dollars to try out your service?
You’re going to limit me to 90 days or $200…which ever comes first…and not seem to give any indication that you’re going to let me know when I’m approaching either one?

I’m starting to not like you so much, Steven.

Steven…I’d like you to meet my pal - Emma. You see, just like you, Emma’s not a real person. Emma’s a company. But, unlike yourself, she is backed by a team of people, several of which I’ve conversed with, who actually do care. Like, really really care. Not the kind of caring that takes 2,500+ words of copy to spell out.

When Sara gave me a tour of their web services, it was free. I even had a login that I could share with my coworkers so I they could weigh in as well. Their prices are straightup. There’s no icky squinty fine print. There is a whole lot of attention to making things easy to use, affordable and worth every penny.

What is the $5 worth? I mean…really? $5?

Let’s be reasonable, Steven. You even say yourself that the cost per lead for direct mail advertising is just under $10. Eeek.

Next time you should go talk to Emma.

And for every ten words in the rough draft of your next brochure…

Put a big red line through seven of them.