Is that a theme I see?
Each title has been a question….’banter’ kind of alludes to a discussion or debate…perhaps I’ve stumbled on a common thread for each post? Maybe…
Each title has been a question….’banter’ kind of alludes to a discussion or debate…perhaps I’ve stumbled on a common thread for each post? Maybe…
It’s rare a day goes by that I’m not lectured – either by someone else or through an internal monologue that has conflicting priorities than my own – about how to maintain balance. You need more balance. You’re out of balance. Life is about balance. Let’s work on getting you a bit more…balanced.
Now, I’m not one to claim perfection or that there’s one way to live and I’ve figured it all out so my way is the best way. But I hate balance. Balance to me is the antithesis of happiness because it feels like an over simplified math equation for happiness. I don’t want to – nay, I don’t think I could – live my life in an outlook calendar box of ‘working hours’. True, there are certainly days where the thought of being able to have a job where shutting down at 5 and not giving it another thought until 9 the next morning is appealing. But those thoughts are fleeting and give way rather quickly to the realization that this wouldn’t be me. And I’d end up going crazy – as well as driving those around me crazy.
I like the blending. I like being flexible about how my day is structured. That I have a wee little mobile device in my purse that lets me keep an eye on projects and emails while still taking some time to step out or relax. Yes, that smartphone that others might consider a ball and chain to their jobs…well, I think it’s a bit liberating to not be (a) thinking about what’s piling up in my inbox and (b) have to go back to my desk and see forty emails all piled up for review. If I can quickly give a thumbs up, thumbs down, go here, it’s over there, here’s what you need, etc etc kind of response in the moment, that helps me manage my day better. It’s my own kind of fluid putty like balance that changes every minute and every day. But to me, that’s living.
Now if I could just that wee little self-reflective voice in my head to agree with me…
Maybe it’s not so surprising that after overdosing on blogging last year I might need a bit of time (erm, again) to step away from the tags and categories for a bit and gain a wee bit of perspective. On the other hand, it could have proved to be rather cathartic had I instead dedicated 10-15min at the start of each day just throwing a few words on on the screen.
But here we are with a fresh coat of paint on Debanter’s template, thus proving that I am motivated greatly by new, pretty things. This won’t be anything new to those who know me and my shopping…”habit”.
How do I want to be represented online? Who knows me for me? Will this impact my perceptions…long term career goals…how I view myself?
I can’t possibly remember what thoughts or questions I had running through my mind every time I made the time to blog on a regular basis four years ago. Not a clue. But somehow I did it and I liked it and I think I could do that again, no?
Perhaps it will help to ease me back into the swing of things if I continue this stream of garbled self-reflection for a few more days.
A long time ago, when I actually made time for things like blogs and photography and what not, I set up an alert every time there was a change to my pagerank. In that moment it naively never occurred to me that I might watch that number go down. No, this was to watch my progress as it climbed higher and higher, right? Yeah? No?
Oh, it takes new content and regular updates to achieve this. Right…
Soooo, here we are and I’m at a two and it’s merely my competitive nature that’s compelling me to write this.
Must. find. new. blog. purpose. Where did you go..?
Why is it that the personal well-being doesn’t necessarily get the same attention that work and other life responsibilities do? Easy answer – blame economy, outside forces, ambition and all sorts of other reasons that require no further self reflection. It’s not okay to feel guilty for taking a moment to yourself. In fact, it’s even less okay because once you start sneaking those in while facing a wall of mental paralysis…you’re no longer effective and efficient with your time.
A big goal of mine in the next six months is to really get back to my old habits of ultra time organization in order to have more of the unrestrained free time and less of the guilt. My scribbled lists need to be organized into notes and I owe it to myself to be honest about timelines and what matters.
Lamenting about how there isn’t enough hours of the day feels hollow and unnecessary now. There are plenty of hours – it’s how you use them. I speak like I know what I’m talking about, but really I just have to say it outloud (and type it a few times) to hopefully get the message personally.